When we are caught in a difficult thought, we can speak to ourselves in ways we would never speak to someone we care about. This reflection invites you to pause and consider what you might say to a friend in the same situation.
Find somewhere comfortable and take it at your own pace. You can write your responses down or simply think them through.
How to use this tool
Name the thought
Notice the self-critical thought you are having. Try writing it as it appears, without judging it. For example: “I always mess things up.”
Notice the tone
How are you speaking to yourself? Does it feel harsh, hopeless or judgemental? You do not have to change anything yet; just notice.
Imagine a friend
Picture someone you care about sharing this same thought. What would you want them to know? How would you support them?
Write your response
Use the same words you would offer them. Be honest, kind and encouraging. For example: “You’re learning. A mistake does not define you.”
Read it back to yourself
Take a moment to hear those words as if they were meant for you. Notice how that feels. There is no right response.
References & further reading
White, M. & Epston, D. (1990). Narrative Means to Therapeutic Ends. Norton & Company.
This resource is for general reflection and does not replace individual professional support.